Start with what you have

I’m sitting at my desk, typing these words, purely because I decided not to listen to my mind a few hours ago.

I’ve been wanting to return to a regular writing practice for months. Since coming across four writers online who share their work publicly and can actually call themselves writers, a desire to articulate and publish my thoughts and ideas has once again resurfaced. 

Writing has always been an activity that I find myself doing naturally, often out of joy for the activity but many times out of necessity. At present, I write privately, in a notebook and in a note-taking app, to work through my thoughts and to figure out what my next steps are. I use writing as a tool for thinking. 

The pages of my daily notes are filled with processing decisions and conversations with myself on whatever is currently going on in my life. While writing as a tool for private thinking is an active practice, I can’t say the same for my published thinking, as it is non-existent.

I’ve hypothesized about why this is the case, and have come up with nothing substantial. Every single “reason” that my mind conjured was really an excuse so fickle that it would be surprised to hear itself called a reason in the first place.

One of these is so laughable that I can’t quite believe I’m disclosing it publicly. 

Nevertheless, here we are.

A mere three hours ago, I was exactly five clicks away from purchasing a 2025 iPad Pro and a Magic Keyboard because I was convinced I needed them to start writing again.

My goodness, that sounds even crazier now that the words are staring back at me.

Can you believe I convinced myself that I needed these specific products to start writing? How did this happen?

I have notebooks and pens, a laptop, a phone and what’s even worse, a 2016 iPad (which I’m currently using to write these words), but somehow, none of these were enough. I needed the shiny new objects and only once I had them in my possession, could I start writing. 

This is a behavior pattern that I’ve observed in myself before. I see someone using a product on Instagram or YouTube that didn’t actually improve my workflow by any significant measure, but that looked nicer, newer and was their ideal set up. I would repeatedly see the product on social media, find myself searching for it online and sooner or later, I’m fixated on purchasing it and must have it to fulfill my life's purpose. Ok, that last part was an exaggeration but you get the idea.

Thankfully, most of the time, I come to my senses and remind myself that none of these things bring happiness anyway.

Social media is a dangerous tool to the unquestioning mind. Give yourself enough time on any of these platforms and you will find your mind birthing justifications for all sorts of products that you do not need.

I don’t say this to make blanket statements about every single product on social media. I saw a friend using a walking pad on Instagram and purchasing one for myself has been a huge game changer for my health as I now use it everyday while working. Some purchases do improve your life but one needs to be discerning. It is my observation that this is not a frequent occurrence and is indeed an exception to the norm.

During these periods of shiny object syndrome, I find myself returning to a Terence McKenna lecture where he describes a series of negatives as the antidote to our collective addiction to consumption in its various forms. 

He says,

We shouldn’t watch. Watching is some kind of voyeuristic, sadomasochistic peculiarity that we are permitting ourselves because we think there are too many of us to do. But I don’t think this is true. I think watching is an incredibly disempowering thing. Millions of people live half-awake larval lives watching 6.5 hours of TV a day. And as long as they stay in their homes—you know, shopping by phone and fax—everybody is happy. But they participate not at all in the society. They’re the Marks, and they consume. They consume the media, the entertainment, the clothes, the styles, the brands. They are the morons who are keeping this system running.

Smartphones have replaced televisions but it’s the same process taking place. Watching leads to the creation of foreign desires and unnecessary consumption. If this is all that we do, we are not at the center of our own lives. Instead, we're in a constant cycle of chasing the next object that will finally fulfill us.

Like McKenna, I want to write essays, books and produce ideas. Continuous mindless consumption without creation won’t get me there.

This essay is proof that you do not need the shiny new object to start. I’m writing this on my 9 year old iPad, propped up using my 4 year old phone stand and a bluetooth keyboard that’s so worn from use, one of its command keys is no longer recognisable. But guess what, it works. And, I AM WRITING!

You don't need to buy specific products to get started. Show up and start with what you already have. Everything else is resistance masquerading as procrastination and it’s keeping you back.